


Confliction

by Creed Cascade (creedcascade)



Series: SNAFU Verse [2]
Category: Tour of Duty (1987)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Special Ops, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-17
Updated: 2011-11-16
Packaged: 2017-10-26 04:34:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creedcascade/pseuds/Creed%20Cascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first mission out for the new and fully assembled Team Viking goes slightly awry. Second story in the “SNAFU ‘Verse.” An AU where the characters of Tour of Duty have been fast forwarded to contemporary times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Confliction co-written with "Majorbrat".

Brewster's face was tight and angry as he stood in front of his men in the briefing room. "This mission is on home soil. The directive is simple. Find and recover Victor Snell."

An image of the man flashed behind Brewster as he said the name and Zeke swore under his breath. Brewster ignored the outburst considering the special circumstances of the case and continued, "McKay, as the newest member of the team, this is something you should know. Team Viking has had previous contact with Snell. He was a contract worker for a major oil company who specialized in bribing locals. He was taken hostage in Karbala. The man was an informant and his kidnapping never reached the papers. Team Viking was sent to recover him. It didn't go well. One of our men was seriously injured and we lost another. Snell never recovered from his ordeal. He's been housed in a mental health facility, but he recently escaped."

The screen flashed to a picture of a mental health facility in Texas. "For this one we're going to have to call back in Specialist Horn. Snell trusted him and I know we can use that to our advantage. Questions?"

Myron spoke first. “How soon before we get all the intel?”

Brewster grinned. “Schematics of the facility are already set up in the other room along with all the information you had to peruse for the last mission for a refresher.”

“Anyone we know of that would possibly help break him out?” Zeke shifted just enough against the wall to draw eyes to him.

“We’ve pulled the booking logs from the institution as well. You’ll be able to check all visitors and I’ve requested a full listing of any and all persons who’ve worked there in the last year. We’ve got a lot of digging to do here, gentleman.” Brewster ran a hand across his face. “Last thing we need is that man getting picked up by the wrong person. What he knows is very valuable and in his current condition he can’t be expected to know what he’s doing.”

McKay strummed his fingers on the table. "We take him alive?"

Brewster nodded. "Yes."

Myron knew how to read their commanding officer. "I sense a but there, sir."

"It's one I don't like. Our instructions are to make sure this threat is eliminated at any cost. He's a friendly, but not capable of guarding secrets anymore."

Myron was not pleased. "Sir, we're not executioners."

"No, you're elite soldiers. Which is why you'll follow your orders, recover him alive and deliver him back into secure custody. If you do that, then there won't be any need for any other… scenarios. Understood?"

It was Zeke who answered. “Yes, sir.” He gave Myron a rather closed off look. “When will Horn be arriving?”

Brewster glanced at his watch. “Should be here within the hour.”

Zeke nodded, watching as the rest of the team got up and started filing out and into the other room that would serve as their intel station for the next few hours. McKay was a few seconds slower, still unsure of what to do but Zeke gave a nod towards the rest of the men filing out and the boy was quick on the uptake.

Zeke and Myron hung back, knowing instinctively that there was more for them to hear that the rest of the team didn’t. Once the room was clear, they stepped closer. Brewster sighed and shook his head. “You have only ninety-six hours, gentleman. If you go past the cut off point, the mission will basically go from search and rescue to seek and destroy.”

++++++

Johnny wasn’t sure how he ended up working with Doc, but it just seemed to fall into place. They were holed up in a room with no windows and stuffed to the nuts with computers. There were at least six monitors and three different keyboards. There were electronic things in there that Johnny had no idea what they were or what they did.

“Sit,” Doc pointed at a chair. “And don’t play dumb. I know you’re not.”

“How in the hell do you know that?” Johnny shot back.

“You’re a pilot.” Doc was already logging in and typing away rapidly. “Planes and helicopters these days are filled with complex onboard computers.”

Johnny sat down in the chair Doc pointed at. “Brewster brought me on board for transport.”

“I don’t let just anyone into my domain. What are you supposed to do when you’re not schlepping our asses? Sit around with your thumb up your ass?” Doc smirked at Johnny. “Kinda kinky if you ask me.”

Johnny shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He didn’t like the looks that Doc was shooting his way, mainly because he could see Danny a few computers over glancing up and staring daggers through him from time to time. “So, what are we doing exactly?”

Doc typed a few more seconds on the keyboard before leaning back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head as he nodded towards the monitor. “Take a look. Tell me what you see.”

Johnny took a breath and leaned forward, taking in the picture that filled up the monitor. “Topographical map.”

Doc nodded his head. “That’s Ravensfair Mental Institution and all the surrounding area in a five mile radius.”

Johnny frowned a bit. “There’s not much out there but woods and fields.”

“Exactly.” Doc reached out and tapped another succession of keys and the image seemed to dissolve on the screen. Instead of looking at the strange swirls and contour lines, the image shifted into a clear almost picture perfect view of Ravensfair. “Real time view now.”

Johnny’s eyes widened a bit. “Satellite relay?”

“Yep. Technology borrowed from National Security NSA and the CIA, man. We’re jacked into all their networks with clearance to just about anything, going through the appropriate channels of course.” Doc gave Johnny a wink. “Ravensfair houses quite a few important nut jobs. NSA has several private locations like it to make sure that no one leaks any major information to the public after they’ve gone bonkers.”

Johnny had to cover his mouth to stifle the smile on his face. “So, basically, you know too much and this is where you’re gonna end up?”

“You got it, flyboy. So, remember not to piss off Brewster.”

Johnny started to look at the topographical map with the eyes of a pilot. He was looking for any places that could be used as a landing point. “No place for a decent take off,” he mumbled to himself. He motioned to the building. “Looks like they designed it that way.” His mind started flipping through other ways of getting out. “One access road. Two check points. He’d have to escape on foot… if he had help, maybe they used ATVs.” When he turned back, Doc was smiling at him again. “What?”

“You’re more than a pretty face.”

“Doc…” Johnny hissed under his breath.

“What?” He kept typing without looking at the keyboard. “No one would dare to bug my room.”

Johnny looked around what Doc considered a room, which was merely a cubicle with low-lying walls you could easily look over. “Whatever, man.”

Doc grinned widely. “Oh, get over yourself. I’m sure you’ve been hit on plenty in the past.”

“That what you’re doing? Hitting on me?” Johnny kept his hands dutifully on his knees, feeling his palms start to sweat a little bit. When Doc didn’t answer he risked a quick look over at him. Doc stared back at him with a rather passive look on his face. He couldn’t help but gulp a bit, looking into eyes that seemed to look right down into his very soul. He broke the stare first, turning to look back at the real time image on the screen. Clearing his throat, he nodded at the monitor. “So, uhm…what are we looking for here anyway?”

Doc took the cue easily enough and tapped a few keys, zooming in on the front entrance of Ravensfair. “Well, we’re going to have to go back into the satellite database and see what took place around the time our guy went missing. See if we can’t pinpoint what section of the premises he escaped from as well as the direction he took off in. Then we’ll let the LT in on that, let him work up a running time frame of how long he’s been missing along with friends he might have on the outside to triangulate a few areas for us to starting working in. More than likely we may have to divide off into small groups to hunt him down. Unless we can accurately pinpoint a location.”

They fell quickly into the case for the next hour or so. Johnny thought they had made some decent progress that Myron would be happy to hear. On one of the monitors, Johnny noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He swiveled in his chair to confirm what he saw. Coming down the hallway with Myron and Brewster was a man in a wheelchair.

“Who’s that?” Johnny asked.

A smile split across Doc’s face. “Horn.”

“What? How’s he’s supposed to help us if he’s a cripple?”

“Don’t be such a jackass, McKay. Of course he can.” Doc was already standing up. “I can guarantee that he can beat you at basketball any day.”

“He can’t be in the military in a chair.”

“He’s a civilian intelligence contractor now. You’d better get used to him. He can’t go out in the field anymore, but he works with the team regularly.”

The door opened up and Horn made his way in with Myron and Brewster right in tow. Doc extended his hand out immediately, catching Horn’s in a crushing handshake. “How ya doin’, Horn?”

The man smiled up at Doc. “Better than you. I don’t have to chase anyone down anymore. But I bet I could do it faster than you in this chair than you could on your own two legs if given half the chance.”

The two men traded barbs for a bit with Myron walking over to take a seat in the chair that Doc had evacuated. He gave the screen a once over, looking at the notes Doc had taken in shorthand on a tablet. He flipped a page and looked at a basic outline that had been sketched with small x’s at points of entry. “Learning anything, newbie?”

Johnny grunted and turned from watching Horn and Doc. “What’s it to you?”

Myron looked up, an expression of amusement and disbelief on his face. “Hey, that’s what a team leader does… checks on the progress. Sorry to ruffle your feathers, flyboy.”

Johnny shoved aside his irritation and knew Myron was trying to bait him. This was his first mission as part of the team and Johnny latched onto his professionalism. Quickly he briefed Brewster, Goldman and Horn on his observations and speculations. He quickly learned how sharp Horn was by his commentary. Johnny felt a twinge of guilt for his previous judgment of the man. Something about his interactions with Horn seemed to please both Doc and Goldman. Doc seemed to have forgiven him by the half smile on his face and Goldman didn’t look completely pissed off. Apparently he had just passed more than one test.

++++++

Percell watched the scene below him through the scope of his sniper rifle. They were one hour past deadline for bringing in the mark, but Myron had ordered them to only take the kill shot at his command, unless one of the team was threatened. They had found the mark in an abandoned junkyard, of all places. He was pacing nervously in front of a wrecked Chevy. The man had a loaded Glock in his hand and every once in a while would press it to his temple. Now Goldman and Doc were just trying to talk him down. Anderson was off to the side, out of sight, but also had his weapon trained on the mark.  
Danny’s finger twitched on the trigger as Doc took a hesitant step towards the mark.

It continued on forever. At least it felt that way to Danny. The sun was beating down hard on his back, sweat starting to run in constant rivers down his face. He shifted a bit when a small drop worked its way down the back of his neck and under the collar of his shirt. He blinked quickly, clearing his vision and watched as the mark suddenly moved forward, one arm coming up to press against Doc’s chest and throat, shoving him right up against one of the derelict cars. Danny growled low in his throat, weapon shifting just a fraction of an inch as he realigned with the mark. When the gun came up to point at Doc’s temple, he squeezed the trigger.

It was almost silent when it happened. Percell felt the slight recoil from the shot, heard the small noise his weapon made as he fired the bullet. He watched as the man’s head suddenly went forward from the impact, a red arc of blood and brain matter suddenly fountaining out. There was a red haze over Doc’s face and the only sound that could be heard by all the team members was Doc’s sudden yell.

++++++

The body had already been removed and the scene meticulously cleaned up by Ruiz and Taylor. There would be no official record of what happened here today. Some story would be fabricated about the man’s death. The cover up would be seamless.

Doc was currently standing by an SUV with his back turned to everyone. He had his arms crossed over his bloody shirt. Percell stood close to him, but not touching him. When anyone tried to get close to Doc, Danny had literally growled at them.

“Doc, talk to me.”

He was only met with silence.

“Roo ‘n’ Taylor need your shirt. They gotta dispose of the evidence.” Doc shook his head and kept his back turned to Danny. He ran a frustrated hand through his hand. “C’mon, Doc. You just gotta hold it together a little bit longer.”

When Danny laid his hand on Doc’s shoulder, Doc knocked it away savagely. “I almost reached him.”

“He had a gun to your head,” Danny hissed back. “He was going to kill you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I wasn’t willing to risk you.”

Doc shook his head, blond hair flying in all directions. “You want to talk about risk? You really want to do that right now, in front of everyone else? We can talk about taking risks. We can talk about weighing pros and cons and any damn thing you want to, but god fuckin’ forbid I touch you when you don’t want it.”

Danny’s eyes went wide and he turned to look at the other men who were already moving off and away, turning their backs on the situation taking place. “Damn it, Doc. I’m not talkin’ about that right now. I’m talkin’ about your damn shirt, man!”

Doc’s eyes narrowed as he glared at Percell. “Fine!” Without a conscious thought he pulled it up over the top of his head, hair mussed up and face red in anger. “Do whatever the fuck it is you want. You will anyway.” He started past Danny then but didn’t make it far before the man’s fingers wrapped around his bicep. He never even turned around, just stopped dead in his tracks. “You don’t know what would have happened, Danny. And in spite of what happened in the past, I can take care of myself.”

“I never doubted that,” Danny mumbled.

“Yeah, ya did… when ya squeezed the fuckin’ trigger.”

His voice was low, so only Doc could hear him. “This wasn’t a misjudgment on my part. I didn’t kill him because it was you he was threatening.” Danny tightened his fingers around Doc’s bicep and levered Doc closer to him. “I was following orders. It was a no kill unless the mark threatened any of us.” Danny pressed his pointer finger against Doc’s temple. “I would call a gun to your head a threat.”

“I could’ve talked him down.”

“He wasn’t right in the head,” Danny argued. “It was a clean kill. A good kill.”

Doc’s gaze narrowed. Despite how angry he was, he didn’t push away Danny’s touch even now. “And everyone who’s not right in the head deserves to be put down like a rabid dog?”

Danny brushed away a spot of blood on Doc’s face. “This isn’t about you.”

Now Doc shoved Danny away from him hard. He looked down at his hands that were covered in blood and little bits of brain. His hands started to shake and his mind started to slip back to another time.

“Doc?”

Doc stumbled back away from Danny and shook his head. He rubbed a piece of brain between his fingers on the verge of a nervous laugh.

Anderson was moving towards them now and Danny started to panic. He glanced at Anderson and then back at Doc, not knowing exactly what to do at this point. If Anderson saw him like this he’d have to tell Goldman and the LT would not let something like this slide. “C’mon, Doc. Get a grip. Anderson’s on his way over.”

Doc stared blandly at Danny for a moment, fingers still moving over the drying bloody matter on his hands. “It’s all my fault.”

“No, man… it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. Not now and certainly not then, but you’re gonna have to snap out of it. You want psych to get a hold of you?”

That seemed to pull Doc back to the here and now. He blinked lazily for a few seconds and then his mouth twisted downwards into a deep frown. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, okay… good.” Danny ran a shaky hand back through his hair. “Here’s your chance to prove it.”

Danny didn’t like the haunted look in Doc’s eyes, but Doc managed to pull it together. He kept silent and they managed to get the scene cleaned up. Doc cleaned up back at the base and kept the mask together through the debriefing. It wasn’t until they were on stand down orders that it started to slip.

Anderson and Goldman were still with Brewster going over mission details. Danny found Doc standing in the corner of the empty team locker room. Even though he knew it was the right decision and he would do it again in a split second to save Doc, he ached for how lost the man looked.

Danny looked down at his boots, scuffing them along the floor. He had to be careful how he worded anything when they were on base. “You want me to come over tonight? Maybe we could watch a movie or something.”

Doc just shook his head and turned away from Danny.

“C’mon now, Doc. I’m sorry, okay?”

He didn’t get much of a chance to say anything as Ruiz and Taylor’s conversation one locker row over became incessantly louder, making everything echo. He started around the corner to tell them to keep it down but by the time he got back Doc was already gone. He slammed into the swinging door, sending it flying back to smack into the wall before breaking out into a run down the hallway.

He smacked open the door leading out into the parking lot to see Doc backing out of a space in his classic VW Bug. Running at full speed, he managed to get right up next to the door and smack his hand against the glass. “C’mon, Doc! Can’t you even talk to me for just one fuckin’ second here!?”

“Percell, are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Danny turned his head to see McKay standing by a motorcycle. The lieutenant had a helmet clutched under his arm. Danny smacked his palm against the window again. Right in that moment he hated McKay even more. “This is between me ‘n’ him.”

One look at Doc through the bug splattered windshield and Johnny knew that he was barely holding it together. He barely knew the man, but they all knew what had happened in the field. Normally, he would back off, but he was a part of the team now. Team was family and one of his team was hurting.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to you.”

Danny didn’t even look at Johnny when he growled, “Well, he ain’t going home alone.”

Doc reached out and rolled the window down an inch. “Who said I was going home alone anyway?”

Danny’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Doc gave a smirk. “McKay’s following me home. Brewster doesn’t have his place quite ready yet and the base is doing some fumigation in the bachelor quarters. Everyone is double bunking. I told him he could crash with me.”

It was like watching a thermometer rise with the midday heat. Danny went red at the collar of his shirt before it spread up into his forehead. He clenched his fists at his side, forcing himself to take a deep breath. “What about what happened earlier?”

Doc’s eyes narrowed. “Nothing happened earlier. I’m fine. Never been better.”

End Part 1.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a flash of anger and pain across Danny’s face. It was quickly replaced by an emotionless mask as Danny stepped back from the Volkswagen. Doc had crossed some unspoken line. “That so?”

“It is. You have fun at Taylor and Ruiz’s place.”

Danny kept backing up, his hands rolling into fist. “If I end up there, you mean. Maybe I might find myself a warm place I’m more welcome.”

With that Danny turned and stalked away. Johnny felt like he had witnessed something far too personal. He felt sympathy for Danny and more than a little anger at Doc for being used like this. But when he considered Doc again, there was no way he could stay mad at him. Doc looked devastated as he watched Danny walk away. It was only a momentary show of weakness, though. Doc’s face hardened again.

“You up for a little ride, McKay?”

++++++

Things were getting weird.

This wasn’t exactly the way he’d planned to spend his first night back from the mission. Not in the least. He’d planned to go home, get a hot shower, then go out on the prowl in search of cold beer and a hot woman. He never expected to have the hot shower at Doc’s, nor the cold beer, and he certainly knew that women were out of the question while he sat there on the couch watching some rerun of Die Hard.

He had a pleasant buzz and Doc was pretty chatty most of the evening. The man was good company but that had been about four beers ago. Now he sat watching as Bruce Willis yanked an icicle down to ram it into the bad guy’s eye, continuously aware that Doc was watching him as he sat watching the scene.

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle as he tried to suppress the shudder. Johnny knew the look too well. He’d given it to several pretty girls in the past. Neither one of them was sober. They’d both killed a thirty pack of some kind of shitty ass beer between them as well as knocked back a few shots of Jack Daniels when they first got there. Just to take the edge off of everything that was going through their minds. Doc had stayed tight lipped about the whole ordeal with Danny. Johnny had been half relieved and half concerned.

“Good movie,” Johnny mumbled and took a sip from his beer.

Doc wasn’t watching the television, but looking at Johnny through his bangs. “Uh huh.”

“Your couch lumpy?” Johnny blurted out and thumped the back cushion. A little puff of dust flew into the air. “I suppose anything’s better than a cot, huh?”

Doc was still considering with that strange hungry look on his face. “Uh huh.”

Johnny thumped the couch again and looked back at the screen. “You ever gonna say anything other than uh huh?”

Doc chuckled and smirked. “Na huh.”

Johnny rolled his eyes and reached out to grab for his beer bottle, throat suddenly dry. His fingers brushed against the condensation on the brown glass but his hand wasn’t following direct orders from his brain. Instead of wrapping around the bottle it managed to tip it over. He tried in vain to grab at it before it toppled but it hit the wood with an audible thump before the off yellow liquid formed a running puddle across the top.

“Shit,” Johnny murmured, scooting forward to the edge of the couch to right the bottle and found Doc’s hand already reaching for it. He yanked his hand back, feeling an odd flutter in his stomach. “Towels?”

Doc was futilely mopping at the mess with the one napkin that was left from them sharing an oven-baked pizza. “Uhm…bathroom, second shelf in the closet.”

Johnny darted out, running a hand back through his hair as he entered the bathroom. He took a moment to force his breathing back down to normal. Doc was, for all intents and purposes, off the market. Percell already wanted to kill Johnny for being here tonight, let alone talking to his ‘partner.’ And two, Johnny hadn’t ever really thought about gay sex. Well, okay, he’d thought about it but he’d never really thought that hard on it. Just wondered what it was like and why men would even think to lean that way.

He shook his head, forcing the thoughts out of his mind as he opened the closet door to retrieve one of the uglier towels for cleanup. When he got back out into the living room, Doc was nowhere to be seen and the puddle was still just as he’d left it when he went in search for the towel. Johnny dropped it onto the table, giving it a quick sweep to catch all the beer. He stood and turned around, on his way to take it back and found Doc standing in the hallway barefoot and shirtless.

Doc’s normally baggy clothes had hidden a well defined chest with very little hair. And Johnny noticed another thing about baggy pants now that Doc didn’t have a shirt on. The cammo pants slung low on his slim hips, looking like they were about to fall off.

Johnny promptly dropped the damp towel and then fumbled to pick it up. “Um, hey. Sorry about… the beer, ya know.” He winced thinking about how normally smooth he was. Not that he wanted to be smooth. Johnny stood there, fingers digging into the terrycloth. “I can pay for a steam cleaning.” Doc just stood there watching him and Johnny wanted to stop rambling, but couldn’t seem to. He waved the hand still holding the towel in Doc’s direction. “Going to bed?”

“Not yet. Figuring on another movie.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Doc sauntered slowly towards Johnny and his pants slipped a little lower. “You all worked up after the mission, Johnny?”

“Ah, maybe.” Johnny watched Doc get closer to him and would have stepped backwards if he wouldn’t have tripped over furniture. “Yeah. Aren’t we always?”

Doc was standing close into Johnny’s personal space. “I got movies with girls. You like brunettes, blondes or redheads?”

Johnny raised an eyebrow and gulped. This was not going the way he wanted it to. He forced himself to keep calm even though he was anything but. “So long as they’ve got all the right curves in all the right places, who cares?”

The male bravado didn’t throw Doc off his game at all. He just grinned a bit wider and waved his hand at the couch. “Make yourself comfortable then.” Starting past Johnny, Doc’s shoulder brushed up against his.

Johnny squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, really unsure of how to proceed at this point. He didn’t want Doc to think the wrong thing about him. He turned then, the whole idea of calling a cab and heading home for the night sounding much more appealing. What he was greeted with was a nice tight ass inside those cammo pants as Doc bent over to rummage through a small cabinet to retrieve a movie from his collection. Johnny swallowed hard, watching the muscles in Doc’s back flex as he straightened and stood up.

“You know, maybe this isn’t such a good idea.” Johnny ran his hand nervously through his hair and made himself peel his eyes off Doc’s ass before the other man turned around. “I mean, I’m kinda tired. Trashed, really.”

Doc’s chuckle was confident as he popped a DVD into the player. “I think you’ll change your mind when you see what I picked out.” The player closed and Doc stood up, hands falling onto his hips. Just then a squad of women in short tight army uniforms ran across the screen. They were wearing short shorts with butt cheeks hanging out. Their cropped cammo t-shirts were tight and showed their nipples.

Doc was already dropping down onto the couch, reaching for another bottle of beer that he’d brought out at some point. He nodded his head towards the fresh bottle sitting in front of Johnny’s vacant spot. “You’re too trashed to drive and the cabs take forever to run around here.”

Resigning himself to his fate, Johnny gave a quiet sigh and flopped down onto the couch. “This had better be worth it, Doc. I could have hit the bar tonight.”

They sat in silence for a while, occasionally laughing at the so-called ‘plot’ of the movie. Johnny was a bit impressed that it actually didn’t jump directly into the hardcore action. Until one recruit, a rather buxom redhead, totally screwed up on the obstacle course and had to report back for a one on one session with the drill sergeant.

The guy playing the sergeant was buff, but his eyebrows were too well plucked and the waxed chest ruined the image. “That guy has nothing on Anderson,” Johnny muttered with beer-loosened lips. The look Doc gave him made Johnny think that was perhaps not the smartest thing to say. “I mean, he’s not very realistic.”

'“It’s porn,” Doc reminded him with a smirk. “You make a habit of checking out our sergeant?”

“Ah, no. Of course not.” Johnny shook his head. “I can think of a few reasons I wouldn’t do that. First off being that I’m not gay… the other being Goldman.”

Doc chuckled, ducking his head down so that his bangs obscured his face. “Goldman would not be happy about you checking out Anderson, or vice versa. Stay out of their way and you’ll live a long happy life.”

Johnny turned his attention back to the screen and did a double take. He’d only stopped watching for a few minutes but the girl was already naked and working on getting the drill sergeant’s pants undone. He nearly spit out the beer he’d just taken a drink of when she pulled the man’s erection out. “Holy shit! That’s not a dick! That’s a fuckin’ cannon he’s packing in his pants!”

Doc howled with laughter, slapping his hand on the arm of the couch as he turned to see Johnny with his mouth hanging open.

Johnny pointed at the screen. “Insert deadly weapon joke here. Jeez, no wonder he’s a drill sergeant. If I were her I’d run screaming from the room!”

“He’s a drill sergeant ‘cause he’s gonna drill her,” Doc snorted and waved at the screen.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“I did. She seems to be enjoying it.” The moans from the girl filled the room. “In a porn star sort of way.” Her fake boobies barely moved and Doc made a face. He had never understood the attraction to the things. Turning his attention back to Johnny, he moved his hand closer so that it rested right next to Johnny’s thigh on the couch. “You like bending a girl over the desk like that?”

Johnny coughed at the unexpected question. He could feel Doc’s hand right next to him, but not touching. “It’s been so long I’ve almost forgotten what to do.”

Doc moved a single finger to trace the seam of Johnny’s jeans. “A guy like you… you could have almost anyone you wanted.”

Johnny frowned and reached down to grab at Doc’s wrist. “What’re you doin’, Doc?”

He lifted his eyes from where their hands were hovering over his jeans. Doc was grinning, almost leering at him.

“Hmm, guess I’m not doing it right if you have to ask. Let’s try something else then.” Doc didn’t hesitate to lean forward, free hand going up rest on the side of Johnny’s neck, pulling him in closer. Johnny tried to speak, to stop the whole thing but the moment his mouth opened and their lips touched Doc’s tongue was pushing its way inside his mouth.

The beer and liquor had him fuzzy and off kilter but Johnny couldn’t deny the fact that the porn on the TV had things at attention down below. He also couldn’t deny that the kissing thing was kind of nice. Not like he was pushing any major boundaries. A kiss was nothing more than a kiss.

It was all a haze. It had been too long since he had touched anyone. Johnny let himself get lost in the sensations. His fingers tightened in Doc’s hair, but when Doc gasped, he loosened his grip. That hadn’t been a gasp of pleasure, but one of panic.

“Doc,” Johnny whispered. “What are…”

“It’s okay,” Doc answered him. The smile he gave Johnny was shaky, but Johnny was distracted by the way Doc licked his lips. “I want this.” Before Johnny could say anything in response, Doc had moved to the floor. He slid to his knees in between Johnny’s open legs. Doc licked his lips again, repeating with a little more force, “I want this.”

“Christ, Doc…”

Doc’s hand came up to rest on Johnny’s crotch, squeezing gently. “You can pretend it’s not me. Look at the screen and think about one of those pretty girls.” Doc started to work down Johnny’s zipper. “Or close your eyes and think of anyone you want. Don’t worry. I’m used to it.”

“Jeez, man, I don’t think this is such a good idea…” His train of thought shut down when Doc’s hand reached inside to touch the length of him, drawing his erection out through the open V of his jeans. His mind was saying one thing but his dick was obviously still with the program. He shuddered at the feel of Doc’s tongue on the head, his hands instantly going to rest on his own thighs to keep himself from flying off the couch. His head fell back to rest along the top of the couch, unable to bring himself to push Doc away.

A teasing tongue licked its way down his cock and he couldn’t help suddenly taking a noisy breath through his mouth, sucking it in only to hiss it back out as Doc’s hand closed around the base. Nice sturdy grip around him, fingers knowing all the right places as Doc started to jack him off, knuckles coming up to touch his lips before sliding back down again. Groaning, Johnny reached one hand down, lost in the sensation. He rested it lightly on the back of Doc’s head, got a comforting groan from the man and a stronger wave of suction started. He grabbed at Doc’s hair as he thrust his hips up into the warmth of the man’s mouth. He was so lost in the feeling of it all that it took a minute for the painful raking of Doc’s nails on his thighs to get his attention. Lifting his head, he watched as Doc’s reddening face ran with a few tears as he tried to push himself away.

“Doc?”

The sound of someone else’s voice seemed to shock Doc back to reality. Johnny’s cock slipped from Doc’s mouth as he stumbled back and fell on his ass. Tears openly streamed down his face now and his eyes were wide, filled with terror.

When Johnny reached for Doc, he shook his head and skittered back further, pulling his knees to his chest. “Please don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Doc, I thought…”

Doc was slowly rocking now, eyes far away. He was mumbling something under his breath that Johnny was able to make out as his name and rank, followed by begging not to hurt him anymore.

He mentally cursed himself, quickly getting his jeans zippered back up. The sudden freak out took care of any hopeful idea that his dick thought might be happening that night. He shifted carefully, trying hard not to make any sudden overt movements that might set Doc off even worse. As carefully and slowly as he could, he lowered himself to the floor. “Doc, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m sorry, man.”

Doc responded again with rank and serial number.

Reaching over to the side table, Johnny grabbed his newly commissioned cell phone and brought the address book up. Scrolling through the names that had been preprogrammed into it only made him realize how much more of a situation he was in. No way in hell was he calling Percell. The man would chop off his balls and feed them back to him until he choked. Goldman was a definite no go. No fucking way in hell. He stopped on Anderson’s name. The sergeant was fair enough and it was still relatively early in the evening. Hopefully he wouldn’t be interfering with whatever plans he had for the first night back in. He cringed, knowing that more than likely he was spending time with Goldman. He hit the call button anyway.

“Anderson? Yeah, listen…I’m sorry to bother you but I got a problem. One that I need some discretion on from Goldman.” He listened to Zeke for a few seconds and squeezed his eyes shut, absently rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I know that if it concerns one of his team he’ll be informed. I just need a little bit of silence on this for the moment. It won’t do Goldman any good to know about this at the moment, it won’t help matters at all.”

Anderson’s voice got lower and more serious.

“Yeah, uhm… I’m at Doc’s place. He’s shot off into a flashback, I think. I can’t get near him.” Johnny gave a sigh of relief as soon as Anderson told him he was on his way sans the lieutenant. “I’ll keep an eye out for you. Thanks, Anderson.”

Johnny looked at Doc who was still rocking back and forth. He tried to think of something to say to reach the man. But he felt helpless watching him fall apart before his eyes. It was his fault for letting this go this far. Doc was in a fragile state after today’s mission and mess with Percell.

Johnny caught something that had changed in the litany he had been repeating.

Johnny crouched down, keeping his distance and trying to look as unthreatening as possible. “What was that, Doc?”

“I said…” Doc raised his voice a little, but it cracked pathetically. “I want Danny.”

“Doc, are you back with me? I called Sarge.”

“I want Danny.” Doc laid his head on his knees. “P-Please?”

There was a moment of tense indecision as Johnny weighed the options over in his mind. He could call Percell but at the same time Percell would know what had happened. The man would outright kill him since Doc was pretty much considered to be his ‘partner.’ But at the same time, if he didn’t call the guy and he eventually found out…and he so would when Goldman got involved…Johnny’d still be dead meat.

He picked his cell phone back up and made the call.

++++++

He was stuck somewhere in hell, that’s all he really knew. One minute he had been enjoying giving Johnny the blow job; the next minute he was back in the prison in Iraq. Rough hands on the back of his head as they raped his mouth repeatedly before tying him down over an empty crate and sodomizing him within an inch of his life. Some dirty piece of cloth roughly shoved into his mouth to keep the noise down. That didn’t happen all the time. Every once in awhile they liked to hear him scream and beg. He’d learned to control that after the first week. He still had scars across his chest from the crate cutting into his skin. Those cuts had gotten infected from the dirt, semen, and downright nastiness of the packed earth cell he’d been kept in for so long. He’d been weak, unable to fight back from lack of food and water. Weak from the way they would march the prisoners around the inside of the yard stripped naked in the worst heat of the day until their feet were burned raw from the hot sand and concrete.

They’d shaved his head at one point. Even though the one guard had loved to use it for holding on to, after awhile he learned to hide behind it. He had a good sized scar running along the back from where he’d been smacked over the head with the butt of a rifle when he’d bit one guy’s dick practically off. He’d learned not to fight back. Just to let them take what they wanted so it would be over. They always found a way, though, to make it worse each time. The worst had been the nightstick with its ribbed handle. He’d gotten a serious infection from the damage it had done to him just a few days before he’d been rescued.

Doc thought he had put this behind him. He had to keep the true extent of how it affected him hidden even now if he wanted to stay in active service. There was a time he hated the idea of the military, having joined up just to pay for his college degree, but now it was all he knew. He knew he could do more to change the world as part of Team Viking than he could demonstrating and protesting against the army.

The pain and memories were so real. But he still had a thin hold on reality. That was the part of him that realized he was back in his apartment. Doc could sense Johnny hovering close and even that set him on edge. There was only one person he could feel safe with now. It was the same person who had found him in the cell and taken him to safety. He ached to feel Danny’s arms around him and hear his voice telling him it was over.

Doc heard the door open and glanced up, hoping it was Danny. When he saw Zeke there, he lowered his head back down in sorrow. Now he was weighed down not only by despair, but by humiliation. He respected his sergeant and didn’t want the older man to see him like this.

Anderson’s voice was soft as he spoke. “How long’s he been like this?”

“About forty-five minutes.”

Doc swallowed the lump in his throat. Had he been like this that long? He could’ve sworn maybe ten minutes but not the better part of an hour. He’d been doing so well and now, since the damn mission, he was falling back into old patterns of posttraumatic stress disorder. Damn. If Dr. Seymour found out about this she’d haul his ass in for another psych evaluation and it would be all over for him. Bad enough that she’d put him through a tough regimen when he’d gotten back stateside. She’d been even worse when he tried to get back on the team. He’d almost not made it back at all. She was a good lady but too damn good of a doctor at the same time. She wouldn’t endanger anyone else if she could help it. He’d had to promise to keep up counseling for an undetermined amount of time before he’d been deemed safe to return to active duty.

He’d had so much to deal with and it didn’t help that one of the damn reporters from overseas had taken an interest in his case. Underground intel over in Iraq sold for a pretty price and she’d gotten her story’s worth when she found out that a team of men had broken into the largest Iraqi prison. She’d had the scoop and managed to fling the whole damn thing all over every print, radio, and television broadcast throughout the globe. Fucking Alex Devlin was still trying at times to reach him when he was off base. She just wanted to let the readers know his side of the story. Bullshit. She wanted a Pulitzer. Well, if she wanted her name in lights she could go to the nearest damn titty bar and flash her shit there all she wanted. Though he highly doubted anyone with brains, let alone a dick, would be interested in her. She was about as venomous and attractive as a damn scorpion.

Doc heard Zeke pacing close, but kept a careful distance. “Doc, I can hear your mind racing from here. You comin’ back to us, son?”

“I want Danny.”

“I know. He’s on his way.” Zeke looked back at Johnny. “He is on his way, right?”

“Yeah,” Johnny groaned. That had been the most painful telephone call of his life. Although he was sure the greatest pain of all was yet to come. All Percell had growled under his breath was ‘You touched him’ and then the line went dead.

“Well, McKay, when he gets here, me ‘n’ you are gonna have a little chat.”

Johnny didn’t like the sound of that either, but at this point he was willing to put up with anything to help Doc. He had forgotten the damn button in his haste, with a groan. “Fine… whatever.”

Doc gave a sigh and let his eyes slip shut. He rocked a bit, finding it much more comforting than sitting still. PTSD went hand in hand with anxiety disorder and he was very much on the edge of a full out panic attack even if he wasn’t fully immersed in the flashback anymore. His stomach was rolling like he’d been on a four month bender. He could taste something foul at the back of his throat and his mouth had started watering uncontrollably. Every swallow was like trying to suck down rusty nails. “Sarge?”

End Part 2.


	3. Chapter 3

“Yeah, Doc. M’right here, buddy.”

He started to cough a bit, feeling his stomach lurch as it started to protest about the extra build up of bile in his stomach. “Think I’m gonna be sick.”

There was a sudden flurry of movement but Doc couldn’t follow it all that much. He was too busy coughing as the panic attack started to get worse. Before he could even open his mouth again in warning, Zeke’s hands pressed a bright blue trashcan in front of him. He bent his head and deposited his stomach contents in a splash across the bottom. He heaved for what felt like forever, the sudden wave of inexplicable nausea suddenly easing up enough that he could breathe. His head swam, feeling suddenly tired and exhausted. “I want a cigarette.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Zeke told him. “Might make you sicker.”

Doc didn’t feel like arguing, so he just lowered his head. He was about to ask for a glass of water when he heard the door open.

Doc looked up to see Danny fling the door open and stride into the room. Danny looked around the room, caught sight of Doc huddled on the floor. Not caring who was in the room, Danny crossed the room quickly and dropped to his knees. He pulled Doc to him and wrapped his arms around him.

Danny’s voice was rough when he whispered, “Doc…”

Doc hid his face against Danny’s neck. “I’m sorry. I…”

Danny tightened his grip, glaring at Johnny over Doc’s shoulder. “Don’t gotta tell me nothin’ except that you’re okay.”

Johnny cringed a bit when he met Danny’s gaze and unconsciously took a step backwards. He felt Zeke’s arm on his elbow and he stopped, turning to look at him with confused eyes. Zeke nodded his head toward the kitchen before letting go. They left Danny alone to help Doc through the rest of his attack.

Zeke immediately pointed at a chair at the kitchen table and, even though he pitched his voice low, when he told Johnny to sit it had all the authority the command needed behind it. Johnny instantly dropped into the chair, feeling very much like the kid who got caught sneaking out of the house. He watched as Zeke went about readying the coffee machine with barely a thought. He knew where everything was located. Soon enough the smell of coffee started to waft throughout the kitchen.

Anderson didn’t speak for the longest time, just went about making the coffee and doing a bit of straightening up. It sort of set Johnny’s nerves even more on edge. He heard a slight noise from the other room and leaned forward, watching as Danny managed to get Doc up off the floor and steer him down the hallway.

“Percell wants to kill me,” Johnny groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

Zeke took out two mugs and set them on the counter. “That he does.”

“I didn’t mean…” Johnny sighed and stopped himself from saying anything incredibly stupid.

“What did you expect would happen when you went poaching on someone you had no right touching?”

Apparently don’t ask, don’t tell had been thrown out the window. Even though he wanted to defend himself, he owed Doc a certain amount of loyalty. “This is between me ‘n’ Doc.”

Zeke poured steaming coffee into the mugs and gave Johnny a pointed look. “It stopped being between you ‘n’ Doc when he broke down.”

Arms crossed in a defensive position, Johnny glared back. “So, why is it that I’m gonna be the one taking all the flack?”

Zeke sighed and turned around, leaning back against the counter with his cup of coffee in hand. “Because there’s only a few things that set Doc off, McKay, and somehow I got a feeling that you beating up on him or threatening him wasn’t the case. That leaves one other option. Want me to go into detail on that one or do you just wanna own up to the whole thing?”

“Look, I didn’t do…”

“You stupid son of a bitch.”

Johnny turned towards the doorway and ended up with a face full of angry fist, Percell’s to be exact. The man cracked a good one right along the left side of his face before his hands slid down to grasp his shirt. Johnny remembered lifting his hands up and finding strong muscle against the palms of his hands before ending up on the floor. Johnny could hear Zeke, could see the man over Percell’s shoulder as another punch landed in his gut. He speculated how many solid hits the man could get in before his insides were bruised beyond repair. Blinking tears out of his eyes, he managed to watch as Zeke’s hand wrapped around Danny’s wrist, effectively yanking him backwards and off.

“Damn it, Percell. Let the boy up.”

Danny didn’t once look away from Johnny even as he was being hauled halfway across the kitchen. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you for touching him. Ya hear me?”

The worst part of it all was how quietly it happened. Voices were barely raised above normal conversation.

Danny went to make another lunge at Johnny and Zeke was forced to wrap a restraining arm around his waist. Zeke pinned Danny against the counter, using his own weight to hold the younger man from trying to attack Johnny again.

“Calm the fuck down,” Zeke said the one thing that could reach Danny then. “You wanna get Doc all riled up again?”

“I’m gonna kill ‘im,” Danny hissed. “Doc was okay. He was coping ‘n’ then that asshole…”

Words were better than the murderous rage burning in Danny’s eyes. Zeke didn’t trust Danny to let him go yet. Danny wasn’t even able to say the words. One look at Johnny and there was no doubt what Doc and Johnny had been up to.

Zeke thumped Danny against the counter to get this attention. “You weren’t here.”

It was like throwing a bucket of cold water on Danny. The rage bled away, leaving Danny looking guilty and slightly lost. He looked down and mumbled, “He didn’t want me here.”

Zeke sucked in a quick breath, realizing how dangerous and volatile a situation this was becoming. Doc had been practically joined to the hip with Danny since his rescue. Sure, things worked differently between the two of them than any other relationship Zeke had ever seen…but you don’t fix what ain’t broken. If Doc had been the one to suggest this it meant that even bigger things were going down between the two than he’d originally thought.

“Ya ever think to maybe ask him what this was all about instead of pinnin’ it all on McKay?”

Danny rolled his eyes, shrugged out of Zeke’s grip. “He didn’t wanna talk to me, Sarge. You don’t think I tried?” He sank back against the counter with a look of complete defeat. “I just figured he was tryin’ to get back at me. He’d get the hotshot pilot here and that’d be it… just enough to keep me pissed off. Then I got the fuckin’ call on my cell… what was I supposed to think? Doc’s about as aggressive as a damn butterfly.”

Johnny snorted even though he knew it was a bad idea. “Christ, Doc’s been in my face with all his innuendo since the first time we met.”

It was the perhaps the stupidest thing he could have said. Zeke thought Danny was going to knock his block off, but instead any resolve Danny had left crumbled. His shoulders slumped and the desperate look on his face was painful. “You gonna take care of him?”

Johnny was taken aback again. “What?”

“Doc’s a strong man, but he needs someone to take care of him,” Danny started to ramble. “But he’s a caretaker… so taking care of him means sometimes, well, most of the time, you gotta let him take care of you.” Danny gave a sad smile and glanced in the direction of the bedroom. “It’s not so bad. He’s just…”

Johnny held up his hand and shook his head. “Whoa… what in the fuck are you talking about, Percell?” he hissed under his breath. The man was talking like Doc and Johnny were starting a relationship or something. John McKay didn’t do relationships and this sure as hell wasn’t one.

“I got the message, McKay.” Danny backed up towards the apartment’s door. “Just remember, if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.”

Johnny started to stand, his hands flat on the table top as he stood up. “You’ve got it all wrong, man. I don’t…”

“He doesn’t want me that way,” came Doc’s voice from the other direction.

Danny froze midstep and refused to look over at Doc even as he moved into view. He glanced up at McKay and Anderson, a slight blush high on his cheekbones.

Doc was a bit unsteady on his feet but his eyes were clear and bright from what Zeke could tell. He was back in control again even if he did look beat. “This was my fault,” he said, voice strong with no hint of emotion behind it. “I’m sorry.” He looked at Johnny and shook his head. “I can’t think of any other thing to say but I’m sorry.”

“Don’t think there’s anything else that can be said, Doc,” Zeke answered, moving around to walk up to him and give him a pat on the cheek. “Mistakes made and lessons learned.”

Doc nodded and turned to look at where Danny was still standing. “Stay here with me tonight?”

Danny still wasn’t looking up and scrubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. Doc didn’t ask for much and Danny had never really been able to tell him no. It was all messed up, but it was his life. Doc was his best friend and he felt raw with the others watching him. Still not looking up, he mumbled, “Yeah. Fine.”

“McKay, get your things,” Zeke said before anyone else could make this situation any worse. “You’ll be bunking down with Roo ‘n’ Taylor until your quarters are debugged.” When Johnny didn’t move right away, Zeke fixed him with a glare that got the boy jumping, even if he was a higher rank. “You two got a lot to work out. You call me if it gets worse.”

It went unspoken that the unit was family. They took care of their own, even if that meant admitting you weren’t capable of doing the job anymore. Johnny had his rucksack and helmet in hand as he shoved his bare feet into his unlaced boots. When he looked up to say something, Zeke shot another glare at him to keep his mouth shut. Johnny got the idea and hightailed it out of the apartment.

“Letting the enemy get between us means they won.” Zeke left them with quiet words. “Don’t let that happen.”

Once the door was closed, Danny was staring down at the floor. All he could do was mumble out, “I’m sorry.” He wanted to touch Doc, but didn’t dare.

++++++

The ride from Doc’s apartment was done in silence. Having had too much to drink, he’d had to climb into Zeke’s pickup truck for the journey. The man sat in stoic silence, the radio turned down low so only a few bits of the lyrics could be heard from time to time.

Johnny wanted to say something, to apologize, but he knew that was the last thing that Anderson wanted to deal with right now. The man looked so tired and an argument after everything that just went down was not high on Johnny’s to-do list. He settled for staring out into the low light of streetlamps and front porches as they got closer to Taylor and Ruiz’s place.

He was confused. Beyond confused, actually. He hadn’t wanted anything to happen in the first place but once Doc’s hands and mouth had been on him his body had responded pretty damn quickly. He didn’t know whether to chalk it up to beer and porn or the fact that he hadn’t been laid in quite awhile. Johnny didn’t even consider the possibility that he actually liked it. He wasn’t gay or bisexual, bicurious… definitely not.

So why did his heart keep doing this stupid sickening drop into his stomach whenever his mind brought up the image of Doc’s blond head bobbing over his crotch?

Zeke’s voice cut through the lust fogging Johnny’s brain. “Pull yourself together, McKay.

“Wha-”

Zeke had pulled up outside of Ruiz and Taylor’s place. He had shut off the engine and was looking at him. “Roo ‘n’ Taylor aren’t dumb. They’ll know something’s up.”

For some reason Johnny thought about walking in on them and wasn’t sure he could handle anything gay right now. “Maybe just drop me off at a hotel.”

Zeke sighed and rolled his eyes. “Listen closely, ‘cause I never said this. We’re not all …” Zeke couldn’t even say the word for it. His entire life spent hiding wouldn’t let him. He made a vague hand motion and gave McKay a pointed look. “Ya know. Roo ‘n’ Taylor sure as hell aren’t. They’ll chase anything with tits. Brewster and Johnson sure aren’t either. So, stop freakin’ out.”

“But Goldman said we were all in this unit for a reason and…”

Zeke shook his head and felt really old. “That ain’t it. We’re all a bunch of misfits the army labeled as skilled, but unattached. Men like us find our family with the men we work with. It’s easier with the work we do if there’s no wives at home asking pesky question. If we don’t come home… and there’s no one there to mourn us, then it’s even easier in the brass’ eyes. So, your little misadventure with Doc just caused a shit load of problems with our family. We’re all we got.”

Johnny couldn’t meet Zeke’s gaze and the older man took that as a sign that the conversation was over. He opened the door and climbed out, heading up the walkway. He gave a quick rap on the door and was somewhat relieved when Taylor opened up pretty quickly and no loud music assaulted his ears. Taylor frowned at him and glanced out over his shoulder to look at the truck. “Somethin’ wrong, Sarge?”

Zeke shoved his hands into his pockets. “McKay needs a place to crash.”

Taylor groaned and ended up leaning against the doorjamb. “Can’t he go somewhere else?”

“No, he can’t,” Zeke said, making his voice a bit hard. “Need ya to let him crash here for just a couple of days ‘til the bachelor quarters are done being fumigated. I ain’t askin’ ya to babysit or offer him some kind of brotherly bond right now. Just want him somewhere he won’t cause any damage.”

Straightening up a bit, Taylor narrowed his eyes. “He hurt Doc?”

“Beg pardon?”

Johnny had made his way from the truck to stand behind Zeke, shouldering his rucksack and looking about as lost as a mongrel puppy.

Taylor’s hands clenched into fists. “I got two ears and two eyes. We all know he went home with Doc and we know how Danny felt about it all.”

Johnny had no idea what Anderson was going to say. He couldn’t think of anything the sergeant could say that wouldn’t lead to these men and the rest of the team hating him.

Zeke looked Taylor straight in the eye and told him. “Doc’s past hurt him.”

Taylor’s gaze slipped to Johnny with an intense expression. “Percell give you that bruise?”

Johnny tightened his jaw and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good. Doc better not have a mark on him.” The ‘or else’ part was left unsaid by Taylor.

Johnny respected the loyalty Taylor had for Doc. “I would never touch Doc like that…”

“If you hadn’t been stupid enough to touch Doc at all….”

“Taylor, enough,” Zeke growled under his breath. “You aren’t helping matters. McKay never meant Doc any harm. I believe that.”

Taylor nodded curtly and opened the door a bit more. Obviously Anderson’s word carried a lot more weight with Taylor than Johnny’s. “Percell’s with Doc?”

Zeke gave a nod. “He is. Things are settled for now, best not unsettle ‘em either. Rest and recovery period right now. Enjoy it while you can. Got that?”

“Sure thing, Sarge.” Taylor stepped out of the doorway. “Plan on moving your ass anytime today, Lieutenant?” The formal use of Johnny’s rank was venomous and Taylor practically sneered it out.

Resigning himself to his fate for the moment, he started past Taylor to find Ruiz sitting on the edge of the couch. By the look on his face, he’d heard every word. He took a long pull on the beer bottle he’d been holding in his hand before turning to look back at the television again. “First door on the left,” was all he said.

Johnny mumbled ‘thanks’ and headed for the empty room. It was pretty sparse, considering. A few mismatched items and pictures on the mirror proving that all the men had managed to use this room in the past at some point. He tossed his rucksack near the small bedside table and dropped onto the bed. Head hanging down, he covered his face with his hands and cursed the situation he was in.

++++++

Danny and Doc were still standing by the front door, staring at each other. Each was afraid to say something first for fear of hurting the other. Danny reached out, placing his hand on Doc’s face. He had never been good at talking about feelings. When Doc was crashing and wrapped up in pain, touch had always worked to bring him back around. When Danny was crushed under his own addiction, it was Doc’s touch that had grounded him. Touch meant love between them and Danny loved Doc so much it fucking hurt. They were each other’s best friends and sanity.

Danny coughed and mumbled, “Um. So?”

A ghost of a smile crossed Doc’s lips. One hand came to rest on Danny. “Yeah. So.”

“I fucked this up, huh?”

Doc moved his head and kissed Danny’s palm. “We fucked this up.”

“I got jealous,” Danny admitted. “The thought of him touching you… I know I’ve got no right considering, but I…”

“I wanted you to be jealous. I want to make you hurt like I was hurting.” Doc thought that was what he had wanted when he invited McKay back to his apartment. When Danny shot that man, it felt like a betrayal. As if Danny couldn’t trust his ability to talk the man down. Like he thought Doc was weak. But looking at Danny’s face now, all he saw was pain and love. “You were willing to walk away tonight. Why?”

Danny ran his fingertips over Doc’s five o’clock shadow. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

The truth was sometimes Doc didn’t even know what he wanted. He wasn’t about to tell Danny that. There were some things he wanted that Danny couldn’t give him. He forced a smile onto his face. This is what he did need, though, someone whom he trusted and could easily just let his guard down with no thought of repercussions. “Guess ya thought wrong, cowboy.”

Danny nodded his head, reaching down to take Doc’s hand in his. “C’mon, you need to get some sleep. Been a long week with this damn op going on.”

Doc knew that he wasn’t just talking about the mission. He let himself be led away into the bedroom again, going easily down onto the bed while Danny got undressed. He watched the play of muscles in the man’s back as he shucked off his jeans. He’d give anything to be able to really feel those muscles, feel them shift as Danny made love to him. But that wasn’t what their relationship was about. Danny just couldn’t bring himself to do that.

Danny knew Doc was watching him. Doc was always watching him with those damn sorrowful eyes that he swore burrowed right into his soul. Danny left the shirt off even though it was slightly chilly in the room from the air conditioner. He knew that Doc loved to watch him and touch him. Stripped down to his black boxer briefs, Danny knew he couldn’t give Doc much, but he could give him this.

Danny lay down on the bed on his back. When Doc hesitated, Danny gave him a soft smile. “C’mon now.”

Reluctantly Doc stripped off his own shirt. He was tempted to leave his jeans on, to make Danny more comfortable. Danny reached out and grabbed him by his belt loops.

“C’mon now,” Danny repeated. He gently tugged on the belt loops and smiled up at Doc.

Doc popped the button of his jeans and lowered the zipper, letting Danny tug his jeans down. He shucked them off and crawled onto the bed. Danny fitted his hands onto Doc’s waist and tugged him down against his chest. Sleeping like this was comfortable and familiar. When it came to Doc, Danny had no concept of personal space. Tonight he was the first one to kiss Doc, offering it up as a silent apology.

Doc let himself fall into it easily enough. Everyone had been so afraid to touch him since the rescue… except for Danny. Danny hadn’t been a threat that way. Even though the touch was limited to nothing more than kissing and the occasional bit of rubbing. And as much as Doc wanted more than that, Danny just couldn’t give it. It was more of an emotional bond than anything sexual. So, when Danny jerked him off a little later, he was very ashamed to admit that it wasn’t the blond man he was seeing in his fantasy.

It was McKay.

END.


End file.
